THE TRIAL
I am a writer;a poet, fiction-writer and
essayist who writes in English language. I have been writing for the last 30
years. None of my works are published. I am not an established or famous
author. I am not counted as a contributor to Indian Writing in English.
The advent of literary websites has given
me an opportunity to express myself frequently and made me a much-read writer.
I have got bouquets and brick bats for my creations. Now –a- days I am feeling
a bit tired of all this experience and also am feeling I have expressed much
and there is not much worthwhile more to share with my learned and aesthetic
readers. My readers are all competent in their own fields and are well-versed
and well-read. I have been enjoying their responses to my creations which many
times inspired and encouraged me for some more creations. I have made a few friends
also during this period whose company I always cherish and relish.
Recently I have decided to take a break
from literary activity of writing and relax completely amounting to slowly
receding to the background and forget that I am a writer and become a devotee
to Lord Krishna and lead a spiritual life.
And I stopped writing, composing poems and posting them in the websites
temporarily.
* * * * *
Then a peculiar thing has happened. A
public interest petition was filed against me in a subordinate court in my
town. The litigation is I must not stop writing. I was really amused by the
incident. I was arrested and presented before the Honorable Judge for the
trial.
I am completely confounded by the turn of
events. Living in the jail, daily going to court and coming back have made me irritable
and impatient.
I argued my case myself. I did not engage
any lawyer. I pleaded with the honorable judge about my constitutional right of
doing what I want and abstaining from doing what I do not want to do.
The lawyer for the petitioner is a rationalist
and an atheist. He is pleading his case
well. He says that as a writer I have an obligation to the society and I do not
have any right to abdicate that responsibility suddenly. The Honorable Judge
concurred with the petitioner’s lawyer on many points and that made me
speechless in wonder.
I argued that I have many opinions which
are unpopular and if I express them I will be pounced, hounded and hunted by
the interested people and leaders. I
told the judge that I have strong views on social, political, gender, religious
and the like issues and if I express those I will be torn into pieces by persons
who have contradicting views; whose very existence is thriving based on these
divisions. They will blame me and call me names. So I told honorable judge that I decided to
stop writing.
Then the honorable judge said, suddenly I
cannot take such a decision and I must reform myself to suit the majority of
the citizens and write for them.
I have written enormous stuff on pollution,
climate change and the hazards of smoking, drinking etc.,; still the situation
remains the same as before I started expressing myself. My write-ups have got
the attention of some discerned readers and that is all. Under these
circumstances, I told the judge that I do not have much left to be expressed.
When I said that I am not for corruption,
all isms, suppression of merit, and the like the learned judge ruled that I
must conform to the societal expectations and express accordingly. Peculiarly
he dismissed my argument for my civil rights, saying a writer has no freedom or
individual life. He is a public person and must shun personal preferences and
must be objective.
When I told the judge that none of my works
were published and I am not a writer in the real sense of the term, he ruled
that the moment I decided to write I cease to be an individual with
individuality; all my resources are at society’s disposal. I must continue
using them for society’s welfare and well-being.
I protested to the learned judge saying the
moment I decided to stop writing I cease to be a writer and none of these laws
bind me. But the honorable judge did not concur. He said it is better to light
a tiny lamp than blaming the darkness around.
I pleaded with the judge saying that I am
really tired of expressing myself in this vicious atmosphere and my opinions
have no takers. And many individuals who
are intolerant are using filthy language and even threatening to eliminate
physically their opponents. I do not
want to be a target to such uncultured and uncivilized persons who are
barbarous and I am not ready to risk my peace of mind or life for my
expressions.
I informed
the judge that I am now 55 years old and want to turn my attention towards God
and want to spend the rest of my life in singing His Glory and strive to attain
salvation and completely immerse myself in spirituality.
At this stage the lawyer for the petitioner
has intervened saying there is no God and I am like a person who has taken
opium and I must continue writing for the exploited and must follow atheism. He
also argued that people like me are dangerous to society and must not be
allowed to sing the glory of the God. He also said that service to humanity is
service to God. Moksha or salvation, are words used by certain people to
indulge in vain pursuits and mislead the rest of the communities.
I am completely taken aback by this
argument of the petitioner’s lawyer.
I told the honorable judge to leave me to
myself and do not dictate to do what I do not want to do. I informed My Lord
that one must read the constitution thoroughly where each citizen’s freedom and
independence are guaranteed and I can practice what I want without harming any
one.
I
also informed the court that writing is an aesthetic activity which goes on
voluntarily as the cuckoo sings, peacock dances, rivers flow, flowers bloom,
men and women fall in love, children smile and elderly profess wisdom. A person
cannot be compelled to do anything against his will much less to write. Nature
dwells in the writer and poets as intuition and instinct and makes one to
respond, compose, express and revel in one’s own creations. I lived and passed
all these moments and I just want to live my life peacefully in the company of
Lord Krishna.
I also told the honorable judge that I know
Sanskrit, German and French languages and will do translations of classics among
these languages and also into my mother tongue Telugu and thus will be in touch
in literature as well;and also that I am only a part-time writer and my real
interest lies in doing scientific research and by profession I am a researcher.
And pleaded with the judge not to curb my freedom of speech and that I want to remain unheard
as I am not in a mood and do not want to create anything from my study,
knowledge, views, opinions, understanding, insight and scholarship. And there
are many equally learned and talented persons who are flooding the literary
street with their goods and my non-writing does not actually affect the output;
just as a drop of water removed from the ocean does not make any difference to
the amount of water present.
But My Lord sentenced me to simple imprisonment
for five years where I must be supervised by the jail warden that I write daily
and post. I became dumb by hearing the judgment. I am dragged to the jail.
* * * * *
Suddenly I woke up. I was profusely
sweating. My bewilderment is still fresh and I am still in daze of the
judgment. It took five minutes to realize that all that happened has been a mere
dream. I am completely relieved. And I decided once again to take complete
break from writing. But I liked the observations of the learned judge that it
is better to light a tiny lamp than blaming the darkness around. I am a bit
softened by the truth and duty embedded in the words of the learned judge and will
start writing occasionally when I strongly feel for the cause or any incident
or person that impresses me. And of course I dedicate major part of my life to
Lord Krishna.
